BiTTerSweeT SymPhoNy

after 10 days of not writting or saying anything here..tgn aku dah mmg gatal nk menulis..dah lama nk tulis but then, bz kerja..posa+mengantuk+xlarat+rase mcm nk mati..suma ader la dlm kepala otak aku ni..before that..malaysia is now 52 years old.. eppy merdeka day MALAYSIA...i'm proud to be MALAYSIAN..!!! walau kena kerja..& org lain cuti..i guess that how i berkhidmat back to my country..'dun asked wat ur negara do for u, but asked wat u do for ur negara'...hmmm..need deep thinking on this quote right?..

so...for the past few days, fasting..fasting..& fasting...i guess i miss UIA so much for this fasting month..the culture is so different...at that moment of time..nk solat ker ape2, senang giler..tenang jerk..syukur gak tahun ni dapat posa ngn mak & abah & hisham..but its totally different situation..tapi tahun ni aku rase cam jahat jerk..setan dh takde..tapi aku la setan tuh..huhuhu...setan dh bg tanduk & ekor dier kat aku lerk tu.. aku rase bila kita selesa dgn hidup kita..kita senang terleka..lalai dgn tanggungjwb kita...suma mak wat, maka urat2 kemalasan tu timbul..sbb tuh aku lagik senang duk ngn kwn2..tmbh2 duk ngn bebudak ASIAH n GEMADIAN...automatik jdk rajin...sbb ader rase tanggungjwb.. pelik tul aku ni..terbalik plak..huhuhu

bulan2 posa ni pun...buat aku rindu kat nor, eppy, nenek & tokwan...most of the person i luv, pergi tinggalkan aku time bln2 posa..one by one..ishkk..al-fatihah..semoga roh mereka dicucuri rahmat..rasenyer..time posa ni..nenek aku ckp xde seksa kubur..betul la kot..

today...hmmm..life is so-so...just feeling a little sad...setakat ni nothing yg can make me eppy lagik...many things happen drastically...dtg & pergi sesuka ati..suka, gembira, ayer mata, well..that's life..mungkin setengah org anggap aku lemah..suka menangis..ckit2 nngs jerk...yup..i admit..aku lemah giler..sbb aku cuma insan biasa yg ALLAH ciptakan, punya different feelin & view about things..mungkin ader yg kater aku suka main2, tak matang..yup..lagi skali..i admit...that's me...org yg baru kenal aku..suma akan ckp mcm tu...yg lama kenal aku...tau la diri aku mcmner (mybe diaorg tau, mybe tak kot)..but i have the other side of me yg some peeps jerk tau..mybe some say i'm crazy, mengada-ngada, terlampau manja..pentingkan diri..suma tu ader dlm diri aku sbb aku insan biasa...have pro & contra..have yin & yang...

maybe one thing, i...myself sendiri terlupa..org lain pun lupa gak kot...dgn kesedihan yg ader..aku kutip satu persatu serpihan yg tinggal, dgn kelemahan yg wujud..aku cuba jdk lebih kuat..mngkn lebih baik dr smlm..walau kenangan smlm takkan penah padam...cuma aku perlukan masa..aku tak leh wat satu2 benda on d spot..aku lambt & lembap ckit..satu hari aku akan pergi..time tu aku takkan ganggu hidup anyone..mybe time tu, suma akan idup tenang...yeah..no more me to bother anyone..!!!!!

mybe now..i need something to holding on....for all my frens that always stand by me..tq for abg...frankly speaking,life is hard without u..thnx for everything and also for all ur luv to me before this...forgive me for all my sins..